Confession: Publishing a book took a lot more courage than I ever imagined.
I am glad that I am on this side of my book. It is finished, available for purchase, and no longer in my hands. The process of holding it in my hands to get it over the finish line was worth it but it came with a cost. Along the way I had to carve out time to write and edit which meant I wasn’t spending time doing other things I enjoyed like being with my kids, going out, watching tv, or decorating my house. I had to choose. And making that choice for who or what got my time was very hard some days. Letting the laundry sit, disappointing a child, and looking at bare walls meant that I was allowing other points of stress into my life so that I could see this project through. I found peace in finishing my book but it meant not having peace in so many other areas.
One of the greatest surprises along the way was the constant battle of self-doubt. Every time I read my manuscript or got positive feedback from someone on it, I felt hope: maybe this book will actually help someone someday. Then, right on the heels of that thought would come: what if someone reads my book and they are worse off because of that choice? What if my words upset people and they walk away with a message I never intended? At every checkpoint in the publishing process I felt like I was cliff jumping: excitement that I’m actually doing this and fear that this singular choice could end whatever happy future I envisioned for myself. Do I jump or do I think about it a little longer, knowing that the longer I think, the less likely I will be to jump?
It cost a lot. During the process and especially when I was spending more and more money, I kept wondering: will this be worth it? My book has been out for one month and here’s my answer for today: yes, it was worth it. A few thousand dollars at the time felt like a lot and is a lot when you think about where else I could have spent or invested that money. Will there be a return on the investment? Maybe not so much in dollars and I am ok with that. I know I might not even break even and I am ok with that too. You see, making a financial profit was never the goal. Ever. There are faster, far less painful ways to make money.
The goal wasn’t even to have anyone say that I’m a good writer or that they liked my book. I’ll write about my goal in another post. For now, be curious.
Let’s talk dollars and cents. How much money did I spend out of pocket to self-publish? Here’s the breakdown:
| Item purchased | Cost |
| Hard copies of rough drafts I printed multiple coil-bound copies during the editing phase. This was the process of taking red ink to each page and editing each updated draft. I probably had about 5-6 rough drafts. | $245.13 |
| Hiring an editor | $300.00 |
| Registering for ISBN (package of 10) and cost for applying for a copyright | $385.00 |
| Building an author website and blog on WordPress | $156.00 |
| Headshots for back of book and website | $224.00 |
| Professional makeup done before headshots | $50.00 |
| Book cover and interior layout designer through FiverrPro | $1,595.00 |
| Canva cards I sent out personalized cards as thank you’s, letting 50 early readers know they would be receiving a book as a gift for their support | $43.82 |
| Mailing labels This was not a necessary purchase. I simply did not want to write my return address on 50 thank you cards | $20.29 |
| First book print and shipping | $26.05 |
| InDesign Adobe subscription on June 2 I purchased this for 1 month to finish the interior design myself since my designer had to withdraw from project for family health reasons | $34.49 |
| Printed and shipped 13 copies to myself on June 3 These were copies I planned to hand out in person | $77.93 |
| Michaels cardstock for handwritten notes to include in thank you’s | $5.93 |
| Book printing and shipping to multiple states for early readers | $303.72 |
| Postage for postcards | $15.60 |
| Gift card to one early reader who was helping me deliver books | $25.00 |
| total | $3,502.96 |
Timeline
| Date | Project |
| 2021-2023 | -bought desk and computer -began the writing process for manuscript -No clear direction on how to structure my book. |
| Summer 2023 | began outlining chapters around themes I found in my reflections and had clearer vision for book |
| Fall 2023 | Started researching imprints, publishing companies, process for self publishing, and process to get an agent |
| Fall 2023-Summer 2024 | Interviewed and coordinated with a birth mom to include her story in my book. I wrote a few drafts and held many interviews but in the end she decided against including her story in my book. During this season my book was also on pause since I was focused on raising a newborn, coordinating a move from MS to VA, and then settling the family to a new life in VA (schools, medical, buying a home, etc,) |
| August 2024 | -started talking to freelance publisher who was referred to me. She explained timeline to launch would likely be 6-9 months. -Finished manuscript to get ready for full print and hard copy editing. -Talked to 2 people who had self published or published by imprint |
| September 2024 | invited my mom and dad to read my testimony and told them I was writing a book |
| February 2025 | -sent manuscript to editor -received chapter feedback and written forward from Claire Davis |
| May 2025 | looked into process of working with an agent and got overwhelmed |
| October 2025 | followed up with freelance publisher on possibility of her publishing my book but never heard back. Last correspondence with her prior to that was February 2025 |
| November 2025 | -ordered ISBN on Bowker -applied for copyright |
| December 2025-January 2026 | Researched book designers on FiverrPro |
| April 2026 | -sent book proposal to three publishers and it was not picked up so I decided to self-publish -started working with FiverrPro designer -set up account with IngramSpark -received copyright (took 144 days) |
| May 2026 | -Emailed and called with IngramSpark to request a new launch date since I input the wrong date during set up -ordered first hard copies of book and went through it to make final edits -My designer explained he had to withdraw from the project for family health reasons |
| June 2026 | -After receiving files from my designer I finished finalizing the interior design and layout of book on my own -Ordered and sent out cards with books as gifts to 50 early readers |
| July 2026 | Books went on sale worldwide on July 1, 2026 |
One of the biggest and possibly most important decisions I had to make was how to publish. I had three options: self publish, go through an agent for traditional publishing, or pay an imprint to publish my book. There were pros and cons to each option and I had to take a realistic look at my budget, my mental capacity to be able to stick with this project, my energy capacity to make decisions, and what my highest values were for my book. In the end, I chose self-publishing because it allowed me the most control over the process. It meant I had to do a lot more hands on work and learning along the way but it allowed me to keep my voice and my rights.
One of my main motivators for writing my book was feeling like for much of my life I was not allowed a narrative on my own story. I didn’t want anyone or any entity controlling my narrative and editing out content (my voice and perspective). If I did that, it would mean I was allowing others to tell me what I could and could not say based on their agenda/priority/value/professional opinion. The whole point of my book was to pivot away from that. After talking with another author who was working with an imprint, I decided I didn’t want to be bound by a contract that had a list of words and themes that would automatically be removed from my manuscript. That felt scary to me. I needed my full voice. The last thing I wanted was to pay a few thousand dollars to a company that told me what I could not do and had more control over my book than I did. Maybe in the future I’d be ok with that or for other projects but it didn’t seem right to me for this particular book.
The other practical reality I had to address was that even if I chose an imprint or working with an agent to pursue traditional publishing I would have to have meetings, exchange emails, and make decision after decision. That all felt overwhelming to me at the time. With self-publishing I was able to hold meetings with myself whenever I wanted to and nothing got lost in translation. The communication was simply simpler. I knew I would have to make decision after decision anyway and paying someone to ask me the questions I would be asking myself anyway seemed stupid risky since I could predict I would get burned out or feel pressured to make decisions faster than I was comfortable with. Of course professionals in the publishing industry are paid for good reason: they have more knowledge, connections, marketing skill and strategy, and experience than the average person. I’m not suggesting I’m able to deliver a better product than professionals in the publishing industry. I simply did some introspection and knew that signing a contract with anyone or any company would be far scarier than self-publishing and I knew that the greater the fear, the greater likelihood I would not get my book over the finish line. At the end of the day I had to do what I was comfortable with and be comfortable with getting it wrong and starting over if necessary.
In the table below you can see the first four options I could choose from as I made my decision on how to publish. At that time I had no ballpark for self-publishing. There were too many variables and unknowns. You’ll see from the bottom row that I landed somewhere in between the cheapest and most expensive option.
| Publishing option | Cost |
| Quote from freelance publisher whom I ended up not working with (did not include a website): | $2,035 |
| WestBow Press (imprint)—this was their cheapest package and did not include a copyright or website | $2,699 |
| WestBow Press (imprint)—this package included copyright and website with 3 pages | $4,899 |
| WestBow Press (imprint)—this package included copyright and website with 6 pages | $6,299 |
| Actual cost to self-publish with IngramSpark and a website on WordPress for 3 years | $3,502.96 |
So, will I publish again and if so will I self-publish? I don’t know. I hope to publish another book. What route will I take? I’m open to all three options. First things first: I need to get a manuscript.
Be on the lookout.
