Confession: devotionals don’t help me read the Bible more often
Many years ago, I heard a speaker talk about sin using the analogy of a ship and a rudder. The speaker explained that if the rudder is adjusted just a few degrees, over time the ship will end up in a different destination than intended. A similar thing happens with sin in our life. Small compromises over time will steer us off course and years later we find ourselves in a mess that feels impossible to get out of. Those small, unseen decisions toward sin are perhaps more dangerous than the big blunders. I am starting to think that the smaller the compromise, the bigger price there is to pay because those small compromises can turn into a habit more easily than the big blunders. Once that habit is formed, we begin to resist conviction from the Holy Spirit because we have so many encounters with the sin when we have reasoned that it is ok. We are choosing sin over holiness.
Earlier this week I was reading some Scripture and a few pages from the book Jesus Calling. I thought about sin and the idea of a rudder steering a ship and had an entirely new perspective: small, spiritual disciplines can have a massive cumulative effect in my spiritual life in the same way a rudder steers a ship. We don’t have to have flashy mountain top experiences that move the rudder 30 degrees. Maybe there is just as much value in moving the rudder just 1 or 2 degrees toward healthy spiritual disciplines that will steer me toward a better destination (i.e. spiritual growth).
What if the ordinary, mundane, unglamorous choices are the ones that are actually shaping me to be more like Christ? What if consistency and steadiness has just as much spiritual value as dramatic change? What if memorizing one verse by reading it every single day for 3 months has more impact in my life than reading the entire bible in a year? What if I am growing spiritually even when it doesn’t feel that way?
What if I don’t need to add more spiritual discipline into my life at the moment? What if I just need to be steadfast in the ones I’m trying to focus on? What if I close the 4 Christian living books on my desk and instead just read my bible? The truth is that the hours I have spent reading through the pages of those books could have been hours I was reading Scripture or listening to God’s voice instead of man’s. I know that these are good resources that help some people some of the time. Right now, for me they aren’t helping me grow closer to Jesus. Maybe they are actually inhibiting me because I’m forming a habit of reading spiritual books instead of the small, daily, habit of reading my bible.
It is often the smaller things that end up being the treasure. I am four days behind on this post but no one really cares. My goal today was to go shopping at Trader Joe’s but instead I’m finishing this post, being present with my youngest as she plays in the kitchen sink, and I’m going to read my bible. Those are the things with lasting value and greatest impact. Trader Joe’s can wait.
Today I meditate on Psalm 51:10, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
I may not read a whole chapter of my bible today. I may not spend 20 minutes uninterrupted in God’s word. It may just be me repeating this verse over and over again as I clean up spilled water from the kitchen sink.
Lord, renew a steadfast spirit in me. Help me to see distraction for what it is. Help me to choose You over all else. Help me listen for Your voice throughout this day. Help me to abide in You. Help me to be aware of Your presence.
