My dad was a great husband

Confession: I miss my dad.

It is Father’s Day weekend 2026 and I am missing my dad. He died suddenly last year, 10 days before Father’s Day 2025. The last 12 months have gone by too fast. And he wasn’t here for any of it. I miss his smile and his wisdom, his quiet understanding and desire to love people well. He loved my mom well. She’ll tell you that too. For my entire life my mom has told me that my dad was a “good hubby.” But he’s not here this Father’s Day weekend to sit and hold my mom’s hand as they reflect on their 50+ years of marriage and the amazing 6 children, 9 grandchildren, and 2 great grandkids they have. I don’t know if I will go to church on Father’s Day. I cannot enter a church and not think of my dad, I’m a pastor’s kid after all. So I’m conflicted. How do I sit with my grief as I process my dad’s death but still show up to honor my husband, Bryan, the father of my 3 kids? It’s Father’s Day for him too. 

I wish my dad were here. I don’t think he’d tell me what to do. He’d just listen and ask questions and pray for me. Perhaps I miss that most of all—his prayers. He was always praying. He prayed with everyone, including my mom. I watched them pray all of the time. They held hands and if I happened to catch a glimpse of them praying together, I instantly felt safe. They prayed for everyone. They loved everyone. Their marriage wasn’t perfect but it was anchored. 

I want that anchoring. 

A lot of people would look at me and say, “Julie, you guys have that—you’re fine. You and Bryan both love Jesus. Marriage is hard but you’ll make it through.” I hear you. Thank you. But I just don’t agree. You see, we aren’t always fine. We don’t pray together very often. We aren’t very anchored in Jesus together. Sure, we each love Jesus and seek after Him—but that isn’t enough. We need to be anchored, together, like my parents. 

I’m 40 years old and I realize that I still need my dad. I know he left this earth with a full heart. And when he left, my heart got even fuller—with love and gratitude and grief. 

This was supposed to be a post about marriage—not about grief. And in a way I guess it is both. I am grieving that my dad is not here by my mom’s side this weekend because they have been such a great model of marriage. I hope Bryan and I get there someday. I know that ultimately it’s up to us because my dad left the roadmap and it wasn’t all that complicated: be anchored together in Jesus. I know he’s rooting for me but it just isn’t the same as getting one of his hugs and him whispering to me, “so proud of you, love you.” 

Thank you, dad, for being a great husband to mom. 

I miss you.